Strip Club Etiquette For Patrons...

OK, y'all. If u wanna know how 2 act in a strip club, listen up. There r many rules one should go by, but I'm only gonna tell ya the main ones, 4 now.

Rule #1: Be respectful of the dancers. Don't call them B*tches, Hoes, Whores, or any other derivative of insults. Nothing starts a fight quicker than this. Just because a woman strips 4 a living DOES NOT make her a b*tch! It takes a tremendous amount of courage 2 dance on stage in front of total strangers. U ever been in a meeting where u had 2 address the crowd? Now picture yourself taking off YOUR clothes until you're down 2 a G-String or T-Bar. How do u feel now?

Rule #2: Don't throw dollars from a distance and/or change (as in quarters, dimes, etc...) @ the dancers on stage. This will start a fight quicker than calling a dancer a b*tch. Trust me, I've seen it. Nothing aggravates a dancer more than a boorish customer that throws quarters @ her while she's on stage. I've seen girls run off the stage w/ their spiked shoes in their hands ready 2 stab someone. Get off your ass and tip the dancer in her garter belt or whatever. Give her some eye contact and a smile. They'll appreciate it and most likely will stop by your table to thanks you after her set.

Rule #3: Don't come in the club stinkin'! If u want 2 come 2 the club after working outside or in a hot-ass plant/factory all day, DON'T! Go home, take a shower, brush your teeth (or @ least use some mouthwash), then come back and enjoy yourself. Just tonight some dancers were complaining about certain customers stinkin' 2 "High Hell." Then they want 2 get all "touchy-feelly" w/ the girls sportin' "Godzilla-Breath."

Rule #4: TIP!! This should b self-explanatory, but it's not. U don't have 2 b a "big balla" or "high roller," but @ least tip a couple of dollars to a few of the dancers. U don't have 2 tip EVERY dancer (though that's highly encouraged), but tip some so that u don't get the rep as a "dud," someone that just takes up space in the club.

Rule #5: Don't get a VIP dance w/ no money!! This 2 should b self-explanatory 2, but u wouldn't believe how many guys get a private dance KNOWING that they don't have the $$$. Just tonight, a guy goes into The VIP Room and comes out owing the dancer $50.00 because he DIDN'T HAVE IT ON HIM! This invites the manager and bouncers 2 get involved and I've seen some customers basically get "punked" into leaving their car keys and/or driver's license @ the club while they go 2 the nearest ATM. (Hopefully it's close by if u left your car keys.) Needless 2 say that this guy went 2 the ATM & got the rest of the dancer's $$$. Lucky 4 him. I've seen some dancer go upside a customer's head 4 pulling that type of sh*t, especially foreigners. That, "I don't speak/understand English" sh*t WILL NOT WORK! They understand "I'm gonna kick your ass!" well enough.

These r prolly the "Top 5 Rules" 2 remember when it comes 2 strip clubs. More rules will follow the future.

Z